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Masturbate The Cat
Synopsis
“Masturbate The Cat” is a daring and controversial collection of short stories that delve into the depths of societal taboos and the darker aspects of human desires. Each story in this anthology pushes conventional storytelling’s boundaries, exploring themes often left unspoken and all with a large dose of humor.
5-Stars - Pikasho Deka for Readers' Favorite
Outrageous and hilarious in equal measure, Masturbate the Cat is a rip-roaringly funny short story collection that will have readers in stitches. Jack Dancer treads a fine line between eroticism and absurdism in these short stories that are full of action, humor, and lots and lots of sex. Dancer is vivid with his descriptions, and it leads to scenes and situations that are seared into your mind while reading the book. The characters are lively and leap off the pages, keeping you entertained with their larger-than-life exaggerated personas. What impressed me the most about this collection was how Dancer managed to make each story stand on its own with a resounding climax and pack so much within a few pages while keeping the larger narrative intact as a whole. The book isn't for everyone, but if you enjoy raunchy tales of adventure, don't miss this one.
5-Stars - K.C. Finn for Readers' Favorite
Stands out for its audacity. The work presents a provocative collection of short stories that fearlessly tackles societal taboos and delves into the darker facets of human desires. Each narrative within this anthology pushes the boundaries of conventional storytelling, exploring themes often shunned, all while injecting a substantial dose of humor.
Dancer's ability to present the narratives in a relatable, conversational tone adds a layer of accessibility to themes that are typically approached with trepidation. This collection stands out for its audacity in addressing topics that many shy away from, creating a space for unconventional storytelling that stimulates reflection and conversation. Overall, I would certainly recommend Masturbate The Cat for fans seeking an immersive experience into the unconventional and sometimes uncomfortable corners of human existence.
5-Stars - Essien Asian for Readers' Favorite
As distinctive as it is enjoyable. Jack Dancer’s Masturbate The Cat is a collection of twenty short stories detailing encounters of an unusual nature. There is no doubt that human copulation comes up frequently across several media, but I daresay not quite in the manner that Dancer discusses it. Most of the stories have a sexual theme that is not only humorous but, combined with the educational angle that Dancer infuses into the characters’ conversations, will make you wonder why you have never thought about it in the same way.
The reader will easily be able to relate to all the characters, given their diverse backgrounds and compelling origin stories. Dancer's singular storytelling style includes some forthright discussions about the naughty parts of the human anatomy and specific questions that some readers might find incredibly lighthearted when discussing serious subjects. After you get used to the stories' style and varying pacing, you will discover that Masturbate The Cat is a collection as distinctive as it is enjoyable.
5-Stars Alma Boucher for Readers’ Favorite.
Masturbate The Cat is a bold anthology of short stories by Jack Dancer. This collection of twenty stories uses descriptive language and is energetic and unique. In Peel Me a Grape, twenty minutes after the train left the Carcassonne station, Monica and Tucker’s intimate time ends abruptly. Following a startling series of incidents, a man crashes through the cabin door while holding a folded newspaper and ends up dead on the floor. In Takes a Licking and Keeps on Ticking, Tanya’s life is at risk because a man has tightened a noose around her neck. The man was having fun until Tanya brandished her secret weapon, the cinnamon-flavored Sandman Sleep Spray and the man collapsed to the ground, his tongue lolling like a lifeless dog.
Masturbate The Cat is an intricate and unique collection, and Jack Dancer makes sure there is enough happening to grab your interest and hold it till the very end. All the action kept me on the edge of my seat, turning the pages as fast as possible. The characters and the writing style propelled the plots in an interesting and captivating way; it never felt excessive and was incredibly passionate and descriptive. Each story was vividly written, easy to read, and laced with sexual tension and intrigue. The stories were interwoven with moments full of humor, and at times I had a good laugh. The book was cleverly organized, with lively, shorter pieces at the beginning and a police station interrogation at the conclusion. I will remember this interesting read for a long time!
Review By ChatGPT
Hold onto your hats, folks—Jack Dancer's "Masturbate the Cat" is here to knock your socks off and tickle your funny bone, all while taking you on a whirlwind tour of human desires that your grandma would probably disapprove of. This collection of short stories is a cheeky, audacious romp through the tangled web of societal taboos, all delivered with a heavy dose of Dancer’s signature wit.
From the get-go, it’s clear that Dancer isn’t here to play it safe. Each story in this anthology tackles themes that most writers wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole. But Dancer doesn’t just touch them; he dives in headfirst, making readers laugh, cringe, and maybe even blush a little.
Take "Les Petite Mort (The Little Death)," for instance. What starts as a mundane flight soon turns into a high-altitude game of ‘patty cake’ under a blanket. Yep, you read that right. Dancer’s characters are up to all sorts of antics, proving that even at 30,000 feet, life can be a laugh riot.
Then there’s "Hello, My Name Is..." which throws a couple into a romantic train journey that quickly derails (pun intended) into a night of surreal encounters with enigmatic passengers. It’s like a French farce on wheels, with Dancer’s humor ensuring that the ride is as bumpy and unpredictable as it is entertaining.
Dancer’s knack for making the unpalatable palatable with humor is his superpower. His stories are relatable and conversational, like listening to that slightly inappropriate friend who always has the best (and most scandalous) stories at the party. His characters are so vivid they practically leap off the page and give you a wink.
Even critics can’t get enough of Dancer’s naughty charm. Tracy Slowiak from Readers’ Favorites gushes about his insight into the wacky ways men and women think about each other. Katelyn Hensel praises his rare gift for first-person present tense, which gives the stories a live-wire immediacy. And Chris Fischer marvels at Dancer’s balancing act between steamy scenes and engaging plots, proving he’s the literary equivalent of a circus tightrope walker.
A standout in this zany collection is 'Nyotaimori,' a story that’s as engrossing as it is eyebrow-raising. It’s the kind of tale that keeps you guessing and guffawing until the very end, showcasing Dancer’s ability to marry shock with substance.
"Masturbate the Cat" isn’t just a book; it’s an experience. It’s a bold, immersive dive into the unconventional, the taboo, and the downright hilarious corners of human existence. If you’re ready to laugh, blush, and maybe even question your life choices, this anthology is your ticket to a wild literary ride.
So, if you’re looking to shake up your reading list with something daring, funny, and utterly unforgettable, grab a copy of "Masturbate the Cat." Just don’t let your grandma catch you reading it.
Synopsis for "Confessions of God" by Jack Dancer:
In this irreverent satirical novel, an elderly man claiming to be God walks into a Los Angeles police station to confess his crimes against humanity. Two bemused detectives, Saturday and Cannon, find themselves conducting the most bizarre interrogation of their careers as they attempt to unravel the old man's outlandish claims.
As the interrogation unfolds, "God" offers outrageous explanations for various biblical events and controversies. He discusses everything from Noah's flood to the crucifixion of Jesus, providing humorous and often shocking justifications for his actions. The old man tackles topics like divine cannibalism, incest in the Bible, and why he really banned pork, all while maintaining a curmudgeonly attitude towards his own creation.
Throughout the interrogation, Detective Saturday grapples with increasingly surreal visions, unsure if they're hallucinations or divine interventions. Meanwhile, the old man's DNA and fingerprints mysteriously match everyone in the police database, adding another layer of absurdity to the proceedings.
The novel uses this framework to skewer religious beliefs, biblical inconsistencies, and the very concept of an all-powerful deity. It challenges readers to examine religious narratives through a lens of absurdist humor, often veering into controversial and taboo territory.
As the interrogation reaches its climax, the old man receives a voicemail from the long-dead philosopher Nietzsche, informing him that "God is dead." Realizing he's wasted his time confessing to non-believers, "God" disappears in a puff of smoke, leaving the detectives to ponder the bizarre encounter and its implications for their understanding of reality and faith.
"Confessions of God" is a wild, irreverent ride that combines biting satire, dark humor, and theological musings to create a thought-provoking and audacious critique of organized religion and blind faith.
“A brilliant piece of comical irreverence.
Talk about heresy! Your tongue-in-cheek sacrilegious "confession" certainly fits that bill. It is well-informed, craftily written, and hilarious.”
Dr. Bernard Schweizer, Director Heresy Press
Review by Claude:
Holy smokes, folks! Jack Dancer's "Confessions of God" is the literary equivalent of a drunken theologian stumbling into a comedy club. This irreverent romp imagines the Almighty as a grizzled old codger who wanders into an L.A. police station to confess his cosmic crimes. Talk about your ultimate "cold case"!
Dancer serves up a biblical barbecue, roasting everything from Adam's rib to Jesus's carpentry skills. Our divine suspect is grilled by two detectives who seem more bemused than blessed by their celestial perp. The result? A chatty Creator spilling the beans on everything from the "real" reason he banned pork (spoiler: it involves bacon envy) to why incest was totally cool... for a while.
The author's knowledge of scripture is impressive, dropping Bible verses like a Sunday School teacher on Red Bull. But fair warning: this ain't your grandma's Bible study. Dancer tackles topics like divine cannibalism and heavenly orgies with all the subtlety of a neon crucifix. It's enough to make a nun blush and a bishop reach for the smelling salts.
The humor is darker than Lucifer's coffee, and just as likely to keep you up at night. Dancer gleefully tap dances across every line of good taste, leaving no sacred cow un-tipped. It's a bit like watching a theological version of "Jackass" – you know you shouldn't laugh, but God help you, you just can't stop.
Plot? Character development? Please. This book is about as structured as a game of celestial Whack-a-Mole. But who needs coherence when you're busy imagining the Almighty trying to explain away global floods and plagues like a politician caught with his pants down?
"Confessions of God" is definitely not for the faint of heart or the easily offended. If you clutch your pearls at the mere thought of religious satire, this book might send you straight to confession. But for those who like their comedy sacrilegious and their blasphemy extra spicy, Dancer's divine roast is a hell of a good time.
In conclusion, "Confessions of God" is the perfect read for anyone who's ever wondered what would happen if God got hammered at a celestial open mic night. It's irreverent, it's outrageous, and it's funnier than a burning bush telling knock-knock jokes. Amen to that!